yellowbear

05 Jan 2013 96 views
 
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photoblog image Bathampton revisited

Bathampton revisited

Stuck On The Island

An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life...
...until the boat sank! The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him.
In disbelief he asks her: 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?'
'I rowed from the other side of the island,' she says. 'I landed here when my cruise ship sank.'
'Amazing,' he says. 'You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you.'
'Oh, this?' replies the woman. 'I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.'
'But-but, that's impossible,' stutters the man. 'You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?'
'Oh, that was no problem,' replies the woman. 'On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.
The guy is stunned.
'Let's row over to my place, ' she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb-struck.
As they walk into the house,  she says casually, 'It's not much, but I call it home.
Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?'
'No thank you,' he says, still dazed. 'Can't take any more coconut juice.'
'It's not coconut juice,' the woman replies. 'I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?'
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave?
There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom.'
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened onto its end, inside of a swivel mechanism.
'This woman is amazing,' he muses.
'What next?'
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and a shell necklace-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias.
She beckons for him to sit down next to her.
'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. I've been lonely.
There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right about now, something you've been longing for all these months? You know... '
She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing. His heart begins to pound. He's truly in luck: 'You mean...', he gasps, '

 





...I can actually check my e-mail from here?

Bathampton revisited

Stuck On The Island

An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life...
...until the boat sank! The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him.
In disbelief he asks her: 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?'
'I rowed from the other side of the island,' she says. 'I landed here when my cruise ship sank.'
'Amazing,' he says. 'You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you.'
'Oh, this?' replies the woman. 'I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.'
'But-but, that's impossible,' stutters the man. 'You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?'
'Oh, that was no problem,' replies the woman. 'On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.
The guy is stunned.
'Let's row over to my place, ' she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb-struck.
As they walk into the house,  she says casually, 'It's not much, but I call it home.
Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?'
'No thank you,' he says, still dazed. 'Can't take any more coconut juice.'
'It's not coconut juice,' the woman replies. 'I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?'
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave?
There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom.'
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened onto its end, inside of a swivel mechanism.
'This woman is amazing,' he muses.
'What next?'
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and a shell necklace-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias.
She beckons for him to sit down next to her.
'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. I've been lonely.
There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right about now, something you've been longing for all these months? You know... '
She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing. His heart begins to pound. He's truly in luck: 'You mean...', he gasps, '

 





...I can actually check my e-mail from here?

comments (17)

  • Ray
  • Thailand
  • 5 Jan 2013, 00:36
One of your finest posts, Bill...
Bill Phillips: Thank you kindly Ray
Doesn't sound like any man I know!
Bill Phillips: Hahahahaha.....you don't mix with yuppies then?
  • Anupam
  • Netherlands
  • 5 Jan 2013, 05:11
Good shot and well presented.
Bill Phillips: Thank you kindly Kumar
  • Richard Trim
  • Seasonal Suffolk sojourn ... a grey day
  • 5 Jan 2013, 07:54
A very extended protracted waffly yellowbear shaggy dog story.

Very good picture though.
Bill Phillips: 'tis a terrible old joke. Pleased you like the picture though
  • Chris
  • England
  • 5 Jan 2013, 08:14
A fine study of my hinterland
Bill Phillips: Taken a few years ago
I love the photo Bill and have been very amused by your shaggy dog smilesmile
Bill Phillips: It is awful but I have always loved shaggy dog stories!
Good image Bill, shame about the waffle.
Bill Phillips: Terrible joke isn't it?
  • Ginny
  • Australia
  • 5 Jan 2013, 09:36
What a hoot re the story !!Great picture too !
Bill Phillips: It is a dreadful old joke but I have always loved shaggy dog stories
  • Helen
  • United States
  • 5 Jan 2013, 09:40
Nice B&W! The clouds add so much to the atmosphere in this shot!
Bill Phillips: Thanks Helen. You always hope for a good sky!
  • Alan
  • United Kingdom
  • 5 Jan 2013, 09:47
Hahahah!! Sounds like a man from my own heart! The picture is rather good, too; not quite so dark as some your other postings.
Bill Phillips: This is b&w choccie box Alan
Very nice shot highlighting the house boat. Re the joke: You have too much time on your hands.
Bill Phillips: I don't have enough time!!! Otherwise i would have found a decent joke
A Boat Saturday shot. A nice looking spot in Bathampton Bill, well taken and presented
Bill Phillips: It was supposed to have been posted on a Friday but i changed things around!
I have enjoyed the reading very much Bill...And the picture is great, it is strange though to find that boat with the name of Tarifa - the Strait of Gibraltar right up there in a canal...
Bill Phillips: I didn't realise it was the name of a Spanish town....forgive my ignorance
If this is near where Chris lives then it looks very pleasant in this fine shot. Oh and the story is very amusing, do you think I could use it in my weekly church newsletter?
Bill Phillips: Yes it is not far away but when I went there I was visiting a school (2008) I didn't realise that!
I am sure it would go down well..the joke that is
This is a fabulous image Bill!
Bill Phillips: Many thanks Richard smile
Great story, Bill - and fine image - the connection, however, is a little difficult to discern!
Bill Phillips: There is no connection whatsoever Tom grin
Absolutely superb picture. Least said about the joke....

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