yellowbear

01 Dec 2011 202 views
 
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photoblog image Stourhead Revisited 5

Stourhead Revisited 5

Annual English Teachers' awards for best student metaphors/analogies
found in actual student papers:


His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at
high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one
of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at
4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East
River.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one
that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law George. But unlike George,
this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
for a while.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or
something.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up

Stourhead Revisited 5

Annual English Teachers' awards for best student metaphors/analogies
found in actual student papers:


His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at
high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one
of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at
4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East
River.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one
that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law George. But unlike George,
this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
for a while.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or
something.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up

comments (22)

A good picture Bill, but I love the narrative.
Bill Phillips: It is very funny
  • Ray
  • Thailand
  • 1 Dec 2011, 02:59
"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever." gets my vote.

Pretty...umh...flower...like a convenience store's display of a new line of flavoured condoms...
Bill Phillips: And mine. I like The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. too
I love your flowers Bill... but you have had me rolling on the floor laughing for two days now... i have to call it a day.... before something stupid comes out of my mouth and i find it in one of your quotes next week... great fun mate....petersmile
Bill Phillips: At our age being able to roll on the floor and still manage to get up is an achievement Peter
A lovely shot of the flower, followed by the kind of laugh that almost makes you snort, but doesn't!
Bill Phillips: Is that the sort of snort just before you throw up but then don't?
  • Philine
  • Germany
  • 1 Dec 2011, 08:01
Oh, Bill, this photo makes my day wonderful- what a wonderful gentle, poetic image- yes, thast is Stourhead Gardens for me - and the pink colours in the background are echoing the hydrangeas in the foreground/focus -and then the reflections in the lake- I am enthusiast! Thank you!
Bill Phillips: It is a very lovely place Philine. for me this was the best picture I got
  • Chad Doveton
  • Where latitude and longitude meet.
  • 1 Dec 2011, 08:40
I see a picture of a lake obscured slightly by some irritating growth in the foreground.
Bill Phillips: Give me strength
  • Chris
  • England
  • 1 Dec 2011, 08:40
This is lovely Philine. You really are a very good photographer to get all this depth & subtly of colour in this composition

The analogies & metaphores are priceless!
Bill Phillips: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
  • Chris
  • England
  • 1 Dec 2011, 08:42
I know you are not Philiine really: I meant to write Bill but this little explanation will boost your ratings
Bill Phillips: You wouldn't have made that comment if you thought it was me. You'd have made a comment more like Chad's
  • Chad Doveton
  • Where latitude and longitude meet.
  • 1 Dec 2011, 08:42
I like this one best:- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East
River.

I could have made an entry to this competion like a team of footballers entering the competition known as the FA Cup.
Bill Phillips: My favourite is her vocabulary was as bad as like, whatever. closely followed by The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't.
  • vintage
  • Australia
  • 1 Dec 2011, 09:56
Great photo,I don't want to be deeply in love and only hear garbage trucks backing
Bill Phillips: It doesn't exactly tug at the heart strings
  • Linda
  • United Kingdom
  • 1 Dec 2011, 11:01
This is a very lovely image Bill, very pretty.
Some of the lines have really made me giggle, I wonder when the teacher marks them they think "Oh dear me" or does it make them laugh too smile
Bill Phillips: I bet the teachers love them!
A very nice Image Bill, and the words are priceless, thanks for cheering me up.
Bill Phillips: My pleasure! And I'm pleased you like the picture
I love your beautiful shot. I am as tall as a 5 foot 5 inch tree.
Bill Phillips: I am as wide as one
Love the flower picture and bunch of laughs below.
Bill Phillips: The quotes are priceless
Nice bit of focussing, Bill.
Bill Phillips: It's all luck I can seldom see what i'm doing
  • Chris
  • England
  • 1 Dec 2011, 15:01
RATINGS BOOSTER EXTRAVEGANZA

I like chad's comment
Bill Phillips: SO DO I

what was it?
Nice DOF exercise Bill and very humorous remarks.
Bill Phillips: They are good for a laugh Brian
Just like a picture of a Hydrangea would look if it was...oh never mind...whatever...
Bill Phillips: Going forward yourself would like, never use meta whatever like these
I love the colours in this picture. AND thanks for today's entertainment.
Bill Phillips: My pleasure smile
  • anniedog
  • United Kingdom
  • 1 Dec 2011, 18:33
Brilliant collection of metaphors - it makes you fear for the future of humanity! Please tell me these are American!
Bill Phillips: I think the train one suggests they certainly are. I shudder to think what the results would be here
  • blackdog
  • United Kingdom
  • 1 Dec 2011, 22:49
I love your photo with that misty eyed fondness only a poke with a sharp stick can accomplish.

How's that for an analogy? Maybe I haven't got the hang of it yet ;o)
Bill Phillips: Your clarity of thought is like a dirty window that has been cleaned with windolene
Summer remembered fondly.

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