yellowbear

30 Nov 2011 134 views
 
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photoblog image Goggles you are supposed

Goggles you are supposed

to wear goggles not a boot


 

THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS:

* "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is
pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

* "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the
cow instead of the bull."

* "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."

* "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

* "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."

* "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on
them and makes them perspire."

* "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas."

* "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity
contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u."

* "Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."

* "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

* "For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make Artificial Perspiration."

* "For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm
above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the
nearest medical doctor."

* "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

* "The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water
tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon,
and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
this fight."

* "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

* "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

* "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."

* "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.

 

Goggles you are supposed

to wear goggles not a boot


 

THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS:

* "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is
pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

* "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the
cow instead of the bull."

* "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."

* "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

* "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."

* "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on
them and makes them perspire."

* "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas."

* "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity
contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u."

* "Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."

* "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

* "For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make Artificial Perspiration."

* "For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm
above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the
nearest medical doctor."

* "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

* "The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water
tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon,
and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
this fight."

* "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

* "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

* "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."

* "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.

 

comments (25)

I am not sure about all the menagerie that is around the Lumsden machine... but somebody got the boot for letting it get that waygrin.... loved your science exam quotes lol....petersmile
Bill Phillips: This is what a workshop should look like grin
  • Ray
  • Thailand
  • 30 Nov 2011, 02:48
All good, Bill, but I would give bonus marks for the description of rhubarb.
Bill Phillips: The Rhubarb and the cow deserve praise
  • Ray
  • Thailand
  • 30 Nov 2011, 02:57
Ooooops!

Great image here, Bill.

The machine will outlast its polytarp, but the steelcap seems to be making a contest of it!
Bill Phillips: That is a proper boot. I have actually got some boots with metal protectors and the feet don't move in them at all!
Oooh OK - Goggles, not boots. Got it! I love the quotes- the gin one is my favorite!
Bill Phillips: I like the rhubarb and the milk ones
  • Philine
  • Germany
  • 30 Nov 2011, 07:06
You give much to read and to learn today! Some sentences are really funny! The niveau of the science exam is in parts remarkable! Goggle and to google sounds a bit similar, they could belong together for sometimes we need wearing googles while googling. The boot on the top of your piccy may beat all the other bits -in my view.
Bill Phillips: It is a fine boot Philine. If you google goggles you may learn much grin
  • Chris
  • England
  • 30 Nov 2011, 07:17
Hahaha...I think we should persuede 11 year olds to run the country! Your picture is simply made by the boot
Bill Phillips: You mean it isn't being run by 11 year olds already?
  • Ginnie
  • Netherlands
  • 30 Nov 2011, 07:21
This would be a good image for those hilarious 11-year-olds, Bill. I wonder what they'd come up with: what doesn't belong?
Bill Phillips: Like, the shoe has got like metal on it. How weird is that, like
I wouldn't operate this heap of scrap even wearing a suit of armour! Like the quotes.
Bill Phillips: I wouldn't have a clue how to Graeme
  • Alan
  • United Kingdom
  • 30 Nov 2011, 08:00
Ahhh.. this goes back to the days when you could fix most machinery by giving it a kick. At least the steel toecaps provide protection.

The quotes are quite scary but I feel you may not get much different answers if you asked them again ten years later smile
Bill Phillips: Like, whatever
  • lisl
  • Great Britain (UK)
  • 30 Nov 2011, 08:01
I like your study in blue. AND the quotes
Bill Phillips: A double thank you then Elisabeth. More quotes tomorrow some of which I think are very funny
  • Chad Doveton
  • Where latitude and longitude meet.
  • 30 Nov 2011, 08:11
This is how my lathe would look Bill, unused. Amusing piece you have there btw.
Bill Phillips: I think it is a grinding machine Chad but no doubt your comment would still apply
  • Louis
  • South Africa
  • 30 Nov 2011, 08:12
I am now wearing my condominium and keeping my thoughts to myself. Surprising what insight these kids have.

Lumsden Car Sales is a used car dealer in Southampton stocking a wide range of second hand cars at great prices.
Bill Phillips: They also make grinding machines. I wonder if alan has bought a car from them?
We won't give you the boot for this laugh you've given us.
Bill Phillips: I hope you had put your coffee down before reading Mary
  • Alan
  • United Kingdom
  • 30 Nov 2011, 10:07
I saw your comment to Chad about Chris Montez - I quite liked "Let's dance".
Bill Phillips: I have the single somewhere. On stage he was dire!
I don't know what the picture shows, but I do like all the blues, and I do like puzzles, so I will work it out.
The jokes made us both laugh, so that is a good thing, as Maurice is not very well today.
So top marks today for entertainment.
Bill Phillips: I believe it is a grinding machine Sheila. I'm sorry to hear Maurice is not well please give him my best and hopes that he is feeling better soon.
  • vintage
  • Australia
  • 30 Nov 2011, 11:07
I did like rhubarb not sure now
Bill Phillips: Yes bloodshot celery doesn't really appeal grin
  • Linda
  • United Kingdom
  • 30 Nov 2011, 11:30
They are brilliant quotes, grin, your picture is so clear I feel I could reach in and take the boot! smile
Bill Phillips: I wouldn't you never know where it might have been grin
Lots of nice blue in this Bill, I like old machinery. Had to laugh at some of the quotes.
Bill Phillips: More tomorrow, slightly different but I think funnier
The quotes are hilarious, Bill; thanks so much for the laugh. That is one serious looking work boot atop the machine. Must have been there for a good period of time as someone has nicked the laces and cobweb has formed.
Bill Phillips: It has the look of serious neglect Beverly.
I haven't got a clue what the machine is or was. Hilarious quotes Bill
Bill Phillips: I think it is some sort of grinding machine Janet
A great picture here Bill, but I just love those quotes.
Bill Phillips: They are fun but the ones I have tomorrow are even funnier i reckon!
It's all very evocative of something or other... can't remember what...
Bill Phillips: Steptoe and Son?
Words of wisdom from the leaders of tomorrow... smile
Bill Phillips: About as much sense as the leaders of today
  • John Prior
  • Great Britain (UK)
  • 30 Nov 2011, 19:47
A bit of real machinery, did it eat its last operator? Nice shot smile
Bill Phillips: It wouldn't surprise me if it had grin
  • Debb
  • United Kingdom
  • 30 Nov 2011, 23:16
Great shot.
And the quotes are so funny!

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